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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Cranky

So, it's 3:15 on Tuesday afternoon and I am off early from work. I am as crabby as I can be.
- Could it be because it is snowing sideways and negative one million degrees?
Nope, I usually like the snow.
- Could it be because I got done 2 hours early at work to come home and do more paperwork?
Maybe.
- Could it be because last week it was seriously 75 or 80 degrees on Tuesday or Wednesday (or so I heard) and I was inside a mostly windowless building until it was dark?
Maybe.
- Is it because I sometimes feel like I am spinning my wheels and going nowhere?
Possibly.
- Maybe it is that I CAN'T find my inspiration book and that all the boxes of books I have are a mess.
Yeah, but that is my own fault.
- What about the fact that I should have been in Florida at a SUPER COOL conference this week for work about seating and positioning but instead am sitting smack dab in the middle of Omaha?
Might be part of it.
- What about the fact that my road bike needs attention (um, the wheels are jacked) and I don't know how to fix it?
Yeah, sad.
- How about a billion other things that I can't really blog about on the Internet?
Yeah, those are also a pain.
- Could it be that I don't feel like I make a difference with all of these great kids that I see? That for all the hours I put in, the system works against us.
Hmmmm, dunno.
- Could it be that I just feel generally irritable?
Ohhhh! YES, that's it!

Now, let's turn some of this around. A while back at church, our senior minister was giving a sermon in which I have to admit I was tuning in and out. At the end though he was talking about being "red-hot". He said something along the lines of this...
does what you are doing make you tired? If it exhausts you, it might not be your calling. What you do should energize you and make you feel alive.

This week at the cool Techno Youth Service the sermon was on "Gluttony". The benediction was perfect. He used Psalm 46:10.
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.


Then he said,
If what you are doing isn't bringing you fully alive, it is too small for you.

Too small. Hmmmm. I might be turning something over in my head. Watch out.

1 comments:

CheriSmurph said...

I just want you to know that you definitely make a difference in the lives of the children that you work with!! Mason is a testiment to that :O)