Sunday, February 4, 2007

A look down in

Well, here I am on Sunday morning. Frigid outside, -11º after church. I logged almost 5 hours in the pool this week which is pretty darn good for me but had to drop the running pretty much cold turkey in the middle of the week. You guessed it... injured. The same problem that seems to pop up when I quit taking care of the details; old shoes, iced over/bumpy/uneven running surface, too much mileage increase too fast, not enough stretching. Sesamoiditis is the injury that I am, for some reason only known to the higher power, prone to. It is not all that painful at the moment, just nagging and annoying but I know that if I power through (which I tried to do on Wednesday) it will just add to the number of days I need to rest (as it did on Wednesday).

So I am swimming, lifting weights, riding the trainer, and doing some core work. I also find myself to be contemplating bigger things.

•Why do I do this, this 8-9 hrs of training each week?

•How do I answer when people ask me why I get up in the dark with 15 mph wind and -25º wind chill to go run outside? They wonder why not stay warm and cozy in your bed or at the very least, they say, "if you must run, go find a treadmill". Why can I only shrug my shoulders and mumble, "I just don't really mind any of that, or I am up anyway, might as well go for a run"?

•Do I do this to bring meaning to my life? I was a gymnast growing up, lived it, breathed it, loved it. That was who I was. When I aged out at 18 years old climbing became my new love. I climbed in college day in and day out for hours I would solve boldering problems and hang in the rafters at the local climbing gym. I found people that loved things that I loved. We rode our bikes everywhere, we buildered all over town, we went on road trips, we played hours of Frisbee, and most of all we were so comfortable with each other we were like family. Climbing was who I was. When I graduated, I had to leave most of that behind (many of those same people are probably still there, graduation not even part of their plan). =0)

•Both literally and figuratively I ask myself, what will be around the next corner? It is why I love to bike and run. Where will this ride take me? What is next in life?

•If I slow down, though, I begin to remember why I have loved all the activities that I do. Because while you are doing each and every movement on the balance beam, scaling the face of a large piece of sandstone, or running in the below zero weather, there you are. Just you, doing what you need to do to move forward. There are things behind you who make you you and there are things ahead of you that you can hardly see in the distance but what is important at the moment is whether or not you take the next step or stroke. No one can make you continue, it is by sheer will and the power from inside of you that moves you forward both during training and through life.

I remind myself to enjoy the life that I have and to create for myself the life I want.

Keep on keeping on.


TriBoomer said...


I'm asked the same questions by people I meet. (Friends and family already know the answer.) The decision to push yourself towards a goal can be deeply personal. I especially like your words:

"No one can make you continue, it is by sheer will and the power from inside of you that moves you forward both during training and through life."

Hope your sesamoiditis passes quickly. BTW, plantar fasciitis is my injury of "choice."

Stay tuned...